Hi Blogsters -

Good day to you!!! I have some funny things to share with you that a friend of my at work shared with me:

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. Some of the winning definitions are:

Coffee(n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

Flabbergasted(adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained

Abdicate(v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Negligent(adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

Flatulence(n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

Balderdash(n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

Testicle(n.), a humorous question on an exam.

Rectitude(n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

Frisbeetarianism*( n.), the belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. * Since I have been told I need religion, I have adopted this as my religious belief.

hee haw! hee haw!

Sandy's sister Ann came to town today - she lives in Florida and arrived just in time of a hail storm...............so, I am singing Hail to the Ann!!! to the tune of Hail to the Chief.....

If Dennis has a truck alternative named BART or BARF and I have a truck that is a Nissan, could I name it BARN......... No, first, it is not as big as BART or BARF and secondly, it is blue - so, I will think of an acronym for middle sized blue Nissan.........or not..........

I have a new cell phone with a company named Virgin Mobile........... that's why I got it, the name. No, actually I got it because I could pay as I go and pay by the minute....for me, that is great, I only use the cell phone 10 to 15 minutes a month....that means my monthly charge will be something less than $3.00 - currently, it is about $55.00............that is a nice savings, we might be able to afford one for Sandy too, she uses the cell phone less than I do..... imagine that!! That leaves me with about $50 of discretionary income - I used it today for some single malt..................

Well, I actually feel better today, that is two days of improvement in a row......... I am on the mend.......... thanks for all your thoughts and prayers.

Hey, next week I am cooking for WNL at church......... We are having pot roast, potatoes, peas, salad, and desert..................... yummy, I love gravy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, gotta go, but remember, take good care of yourself and tell someone you love them, I love you all, john